英语弄人的原因

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今天在整理office的时候找到这份已经忘了是谁给我的“为什么英语这么难学”的摘要。看了一遍,觉得有趣,下次又不知道会放哪里了,还是贴在space上分享吧。没看过的人应该会叫好,虽然它并不是什么正式的英语语法概论。我把自己认为超经典的highlight出来,同意吗?
 

Reasons Why the English Language Is So Hard To Learn

 

If you ever feel stupid, then just read on. If you’ve learned to speak fluent English, you must be a genius!

This little treatise on the lovely language we share is only for the brave. Peruse at your leisure, English lovers.

 

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no tie like the present, he thought it was tie to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

 

There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.

 

Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?

 

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth?

One goose, two geese. So one moose, two meese?

Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?

 

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

 

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

 

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can bum up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

 

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.

 

That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

 

P.S. – Why doesn’t "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?

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